


someday, the dream will end

by Knightblazer



Category: To the Moon Series (Video Games)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Emotional, F/M, Wish Granted Zine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 04:37:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21332392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Knightblazer/pseuds/Knightblazer
Summary: At the end of a long life, John finally gets to live out the dream he's always longed for.But like all dreams, they eventually come to an end.
Relationships: Johnny Wyles/River Wyles
Comments: 2
Kudos: 5





	someday, the dream will end

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was originally written for and first published in _Wish Granted_, a fanzine that honors and celebrates the amazing game _To The Moon_. 
> 
> The zine is available [here](https://wishgrantedzine.tumblr.com/post/188832149989/hello-there-we-started-planning-for-this-project), and is completely free; but if you wish to show your support, please do consider donating to the charity highlighted in it. 
> 
> Many thanks once more to the mods who organized and made this happen, plus to Kan Gao and his team for crafting a masterpiece of storytelling.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy this little piece of mine. :)

The night after the accident John wakes up in a cold sweat, his mind a whirlwind of emotions. Ball, car, screeching, Joey, Joey, _Joey_.

“Joey—” The name comes out in a rasp, his throat dry and parched. The silence that greets him back in turn is deafening. He scrambles to the side of his bed and bends over the edge, trying to spot the figure of his brother within the darkness.

But there is nothing. No figure huddled under the sheets, no nightlight and worn paperbacks brought out from their secret hiding place underneath the pillow. Just silence, and nothing else.

John’s heart leaps right up into his throat.

_“Joey!”_ He shouts—almost a scream, really. The thoughts in his mind spiral deeper as the memories of earlier play out all over again. The ball at the back of the car, Joey running to get it, the squeal of screeching tires, and finally an all too deafening _BANG_—

“Johnny? Johnny, talk to me.”

The feel of soft, gentle hands on his face help John get out of his head. He blinks once, vision swimming as he adjusts to the light that suddenly fills up the room. It takes a few more seconds before his eyes finally focus enough to let him see his mother’s worried expression as she continues to pat his face. “Johnny, please, talk to me.”

It should be a relief, to see and hear and feel his mother’s concern, yet all John can think of is when she had these same expressions and emotions earlier. The same, but also a hundred billion million times worse because Joey is—

—Joey is—

_“Joey.”_ The name comes out in a rasp. His throat feels so tight, and air refuses to come into his lungs no matter how much he gasps and tries to breathe. Joey, on the road, the tarmac dark and dirty and red everywhere—

“It’s all going to be alright, Johnny. Joey’s going to be fine.”

The words cut through the fear and the pain in him as cleanly as a hot knife through butter. Johnny feels everything inside him clench up, his whole body tensing as he balances on the precarious edge of truth and lie. Joey is… he’s… “...alright?”

“Yes.” A firmness enters into his mother’s voice, only slightly edging out the relief. “Joey needs to stay in the hospital for a bit more to fully recover, but otherwise he’s perfectly fine. He’ll be back home soon enough, Johnny.”

The balancing act continues in John’s mind. The words should feel true, yet part of him somehow can’t help but think otherwise. He remembers the blood and pain and his mother’s horrified scream. Everything felt so _real_, but if Joey was actually alright—

His thoughts stop when John finds himself being pulled into a hug with his mother. She holds him close, her warmth giving him comfort and assurance, especially when she starts to stroke his hair. “I’m sorry, Johnny, you should’ve come with me to the hospital. We can go and visit Joey later after you’ve had more sleep, okay?”

Seeing Joey… yes. That would be nice. John manages a nod before he turns and presses his face against his mother’s chest, keeping himself close to get all the comfort he can have. If his mother says that Joey is fine, then he must be. The dreams he had… surely they weren’t real. He can’t bring himself to imagine a world where Joey doesn’t exist any more.

“...he’s gonna be fine,” John mumbles, more to reassure himself than anything else, but his mother catches it nonetheless and responds to them.

“Yes,” she says once more, “Everything’s going to be alright.”

* * *

The nightmares fade away, in time; having Joey back around the house helps to expedite that process. Just being able to see him around and about, talking and laughing and being _there_... John hasn’t ever really appreciated that simple fact until now. He doesn’t even want to consider a world where he couldn’t hear anymore of this.

For a good while, John is more than happy to let Joey have his way, allowing him to have all the toys and snacks and special attention from their mother. But by the time Joey is allowed to go back to school, the status quo more or less returns to normal. The memory of what happened that day is nothing more than a bad dream, with enough time to make the whole thing feel distant and fuzzy. 

It’s far easier now to turn his attention to more important things—things like how to talk to the girl who’s now seated at the bottom of the stairs around the corner.

“Alright, this is as far as I go. You handle the rest, Nicolas.”

“You got it, Joey! Leave the rest to me.”

“Nic—” John’s protest gets cut off by a pointed nudge (or rather, shove) from Nicolas. He stumbles forward, and before he can regain his footing he finds himself being pushed onwards by his friend without pause, forcing him to continuously catch himself from falling over.

John opens his mouth to try and protest again, but Nicolas interrupts him before he can even start. “C’mon, Johnny, no need to get so worked up about it. Worst case scenario, she says ‘no’, and that’ll be the end of that.”

“You make it sound so simple.” It's easy enough to just talk about it, but going through it is another thing altogether. John makes a mental note to bring this up in the future when Nicolas inevitably gets into the same situation.

“Well, s’not like thinking about it is gonna change anything.” Nicolas shrugs as he says that, then gives John one more gentle push. “Everything’ll be alright, man. Just turn around.”

“...” John feels the pit of his stomach starting to churn with newfound anxiety and nervousness. He could keep arguing all day, but he knows that Joey and Nicolas are just trying to help him. And Nicolas does have a point with his earlier words. All he can do right now is to just do it, no matter what that leads to.

He takes in a breath and quells the nervousness twisting in his gut. “Okay… okay.” He can do this. He _will_ do this.

John gives himself one more second to steel himself, then bites the bullet and starts walking forward. “H-h-hey what’re y—”

“Shh!!” Nicolas hushes him with a pointed look, and John quickly clams up. Too early. Right. He hasn’t even gone around the corner yet. He falls silent, trying to ease the rising tide of uncertainty bubbling in his stomach as Nicolas nudges him up the rest of the way.

Somehow now these last few steps seem to stretch forever; it feels like an eternity passes by before Nicolas gives him one last push to stumble into place. John manages to stay on his feet, though he looks back to Nicolas, who flashes him a thumbs up sign.

...right. Moment of truth. John swallows (coughs) down the lump in his throat and starts to speak. “Hello—”

He says that one word before he stops, his mind suddenly going blank. Blank and empty, just like the stairs right before him. There’s nobody there at all. Why isn’t there anyone? Didn’t he just see her there just a few minutes ago—

_(“Sorry, kid… it’s already started.”)_

John makes a sharp turn to his left, head pounding as he stares at the window there. He doesn’t know how to describe it, but he’s certain he felt some kind of presence right there, like some kind of invisible specter that’s standing right next to him…

“Johnny!”

He turns the other way at the call of his name, blinking as he sees Nicolas hurry up to him, looking rather concerned. 

“_There_ you are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He glances at John, then looks around them and frowns. “What are you standing here for? Are you meeting somebody?”

“I…” What was he doing here? John tries to remember but his memory feels distant and fuzzy. This whole morning had kind of been a blur to him—probably because he stayed up late last night. He probably shouldn’t do that tonight.

He shakes his head and sighs. “Nah, it’s nothing. Just got lost in thought and went the wrong way for the bathroom.”

Nicolas lets out a snort in return. “Head up in the clouds again, huh? No wonder you want to be an astronaut.”

John knows a tease when he hears one. He gives a snort of his own and lightly punches Nicolas’ shoulder. “Just you wait and see, man. I’m gonna be on the moon twenty years from now and then you’ll regret doubting me.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” Nicolas takes the punch with good humor and then starts to nudge him back down the hallway. “C’mon, you don’t want to miss out the rest of lunch. Joey’s gonna try to stuff all the olives into his mouth.”

John grimances at the mental image those words conjure up, easily supplied by the memories of all the other times Joey’s done it. It’s impossible to not react to something like that. “You’d think he learn by now,” he mutters.

“Well, you know how he is.” Nicolas quirks a smile. “C’mon, let’s go.” He turns and starts walking with those words, and John quickly follows behind. He just needs to get through the rest of the day, and then he can get home and rest. Once he does that, then everything’ll be alright.

* * *

John can still clearly remember the day where he declared his intention to become an astronaut, the moment when he looked up at the moon and decided that he wanted to be there, no matter how long it takes. He doesn’t even consider to think about the _why_—but as Joey’s always told him, he’s always been more of a doer than a thinker.

John wants to go to the moon, and so he does it. His life after that day all blur together in his mind, playing out like some sort of 90s montage. He doesn’t quite remember the complete path of his studies, can’t fully recall all the twists and turns of life that lead him to where he stands now...

…NASA Headquarters. All the years spent training and studying and preparing him for this one moment. The fact that he’s standing here feels so surreal—almost as if all of this is nothing but one big dream.

But it isn’t a dream. It’s real, and it's happening. John gives himself a moment more to get fully composed before he steps through the automatic doors and into the building proper. His guide is already there, and they come over to introduce themselves before starting to give John the full tour of the place.

It’s impossible to not feel awed by everything he sees as the tour happens. Machines and equipment that he’d only ever seen on TV and in magazines now stand before him as very real things. His eagerness to have his chance must have shown, because the guide laughs and assures that he’ll get his chance.

Eventually, they get to near the end of the tour. The guide brings him to the breakroom, which is smaller than he’d expect, but still cozy nonetheless. Everything looks good and comfortable and nice… 

—which is why John can’t explain the sudden dizziness that washes over him. It’s not strong enough to knock him off his feet, but leaves him somewhat light-headed nonetheless. He knows the guide is saying something, but he’s too dazed to make out what they’re saying. But clearly the guide doesn’t see anything wrong since they’re now walking away from him, heading back towards the entrance of the breakroom and… 

“Ah, and here’s our other new recruit.”

The world snaps back into focus, and John might have found that strange if he wasn’t so suddenly focused on the aforementioned new recruit. Orange hair, gentle green eyes, and a familiarity about her that calls to him like nothing else has.

The guide notices John’s dumbfounded expression and lets their amusement show as he turns to her. “River, right? Good to have you on board.”

River. The word—the name—echoes through his mind. A special name, befitting of the one who bears it. Somehow the sound of it is both new yet familiar, but then again river is a word that always floats around. Maybe the reaction isn’t as strange as he thinks.

Regardless, it doesn’t matter. Nothing else matters right now except to be his best self as River walks up to him. She comes to a stop right before him and simply looks. John musters up his best smile and extends his hand, introducing himself. “Hello, I’m John.”

The woman glances between John’s face and his hand, uncertainty briefly flickering across her face. Then she shakes her head and reaches out to shake hands, returning his smile with one of her own.

“River,” she replies, and just like that, John somehow knows that they’re going to be alright.

* * *

It feels so easy, being with River, from training, to talking, to everything else in between, that it's little wonder that they eventually fell in love, their passion for the stars only rivaled by the passion they have for each other. They are the other’s guiding star, shining the lights in their celestial lighthouses for one another.

And River’s light shines brighter than ever on this very night as they fly up towards the cosmos in their rocket. She burns brighter than any star John knows he’ll ever see, and in her light he can see the path of their future. He sees their eventual wedding ceremony by the house next to that lighthouse on the cliff, celebrating their honeymoon by riding horses at a nearby field, playing the song he’d compose for her on the weathered piano that he finds at a thrift shop…

There’s so many days to live with her, a whole life to look forward to. And this is where it all begins.

River glances over to him and quirks that small, gentle smile of hers. She reaches out with her hand as the moon draws close.

John smiles and reaches out as well. He takes her hand into his and links their fingers together. The moon looms closer, covering almost the entire front windows of the rocket.

He doesn’t need to look at her lips to know what she says. _Everything’s alright._

John nods, and squeezes River’s hand. Yes, yes it is.

He closes his eyes and lets the gentle light of the moon washes over him fully.

* * *

_(Elsewhere, a heart stops beating, and a man realizes a dream he’d once forgotten in the depths of his mind._

_Next to him, two doctors sigh in relief, knowing that they’ve managed to fulfill their job at the very end._

_Now, everything’s alright.)_


End file.
